The ultimate say

If no one has ever told you "I want to be with you, BUT..." I am pretty convinced you're not living on planet Earth.

Today, a friend and I had an interesting conversation that resulted in both of us realizing we have the opposite dilemma: she was once told she's "wife" material but right now she can't be in a relationship and I was once told I'm not even ready to be in a relationship. She's too great for relationships and I'm not good enough.

Usually I refrain from divulging details about my personal love life in my entries because I don't want to seem biased but for the purposes of today's entry I have made a special exception (with the above statement.)

Anyway, here's the question. What qualifies being ready for a relationship and who, exactly, is allowed to make those decisions for us?

Being in a relationship is like having a child. You are handed something without any instruction manual. Experts may try to enlighten you with books or editorials but essentially, you have forge your own path.

There's no equation for being ready for a relationship (or not ready for that matter.) If you find the right person who makes you want to sacrifice and devote yourself selflessly, wouldn't that constitute being ready? And, despite what another person may think, shouldn't YOU be the one to decide whether or not you're ready for something? Or, in the case of my friend, shouldn't YOU decide what kind of "material" you are?

When other people make those types of decisions for us, they implant ideas in our heads that can reverberate for a long time. Because one person who we really cared about decided we were "wife" material or not prepared to be in a relationship, we suddenly carry those ideas into our next fling or crush or relationship. Then, we're immobile. We start believing we're "bad" at relationships when, really, what makes a person bad at a relationship in the first place? (another post entirely, I suppose, but a valid question to raise for the sake of argument.)

The next time someone tells you what you are or are not ready for, respect their opinion and keep it moving (and tell them to keep it moving while you're at it.) Only you can decide what you're prepared for in life and while others may provide insight, YOU have the ultimate say.

Love freely,
tY