relationship niche

Life is about finding your niche. In school, in the workplace, in your family...you're always trying to find where you fit in and stick with it.

So, I'm going to argue that there is such a thing as a relationship niche.

Get that confused look off your face and allow me to explain.

This doesn't have to do with where you actually fit in a relationship but more so where you fit in the world of relationships.

Some women have a knack for being girlfriends. (Some men also have knacks for being boyfriends but for the sake of this argument I'm going to stick with women.) You can look at them and tell that they were made to fit perfectly under a guy's arm, listen to a man's concerns, and be there for their significant other without being clingy or overbearing. These women were designed to have a boyfriend so it's no surprise that they are usually in a relationship.

Other women have a knack for being single. They were designed to live independently, enjoy their lives without wanting the comfort or affection of another person, and casually date without always looking for a perfect ending.

It's important to know where your relationship niche is because relationships are an essential part of life. Who we are inside and outside of relationships says a lot about us. Neither niche is better than the other. Both niches have social stigmas that go along with them: girls who are always in relationships are considered co-dependent, girls who are never in relationships are considered unprepared or immature for actual relationships. Tell society to go kick rocks.

It's OK to know where you stand and to not be afraid to enjoy that place. However, during the course of your life, you will be in both of these places at some point. It's OK to get pulled out of your comfort zone. If you're the girl who has had a boyfriend since age 14 and you suddenly find yourself single after a string of relationships, don't be afraid to own up to that and embrace whatever it means to be single (defining "single" is another post entirely...) If you're the girl who has sworn off relationships and you suddenly find the right person who makes you want to settle down, don't be afraid to be a girlfriend.

Here's to all my single ladies...and not-so-single-ladies, too.

Love freely,
tY