Lovers and Friends

I recently heard that men and women could only be friends if sex was not an issue; so the individuals would have to be dead or 80 yrs old (and even the latter isn't guaranteed.) Don't ask where I heard this, I forgot. My apologies.

Can men and women JUST be friends?

Wait, wait, gotta rephrase that for the sake of argument.

Can heterosexual men and women just be friends?

Not discriminating at all but there has to be some sexual interest here.

It's a question people have pondered for ages. It's a question people thought they knew the answer to until their best friend broke their heart. It's a question people thought they knew the answer to until their friend of six years confessed their undying affection and they felt nothing in return. It's a question that will continue to perplex us. We will try to make our own conclusions, arrive at our own answers, and then be completely caught off guard at some point in our life. I won't be able to answer it in the words of this blog...but the point of my posts is never to answer questions...it's to raise them. You make up the rest.

My teeny tiny bit of personal experience says this: I have a few good guy friends.

My teeny tiny bit of personal experience ALSO says this: With these guys, a physical interest (and perhaps elaboration of that...) existed at some point.

Don't get it twisted, these are the REALLY good guy friends. The ones whom I know I can count on if I'm in a rut or wanting to laugh...that kind of thing. Sure, I'm friends with guys I sit next to in class or work with but they are more so associates. The ones who are actual friends are ones who I can honestly say there's been something physical with at some point. And for me, that, in the end, has only strengthened the friendship. Curiosity killed the cat but apparently it revived the friendship. It's just kind of like "OK, we went there, saw what it was, and saw we are way better as friends. Let's be that."

Again, this isn't a diary though so there's my personal gush until whenever.

The ability to maintain a strictly platonic friendship with a member of the opposite sex doesn't require any sort of personality; it simply depends on your view of relationships and by relationships I mean anything...romantic, platonic, etc. If you separate the friendly from the flirty without any blurry lines, the friends thing works for you. If you're mind (or heart or a combination of both) doesn't like that idea, maybe just friends doesn't work. Or maybe you like to explore to see if it does work. And, if that's true, explore.

So, I end without answering the question. Instead, one word: explore. Even if it's not necessarily what you usually do. You're bound to learn a thing or two along the way.

Love freely,
tY