Spring Break 2011 According to Free Love

Upon playing Will Smith's "Miami" mere moments ago, it has occurred to me that my last spring break is next week. Exactly one week from now I'll be in the warmth of South Beach, hopefully inebriated and happy.

Spring break is about engaging in as much debauchery as your liver and lower parts will allow in one week. But, because this is Free Love, I'm not here to talk about your liver. Just don't die. No, I'm serious, don't die...I need as many readers as possible. Instead, I am here to talk about the lower parts. So, let's cut to chase:

Tyece's Lowdown on the Spring Break Hook Up (ahh, ahh, see what I did there? Ok, yeah, it was corny...I apologize.)

• Even Lil Wayne who has spent countless hours in jail and has mastered the art of people understanding him despite his inability to speak the English language knows the deal...safe sex is great sex.
• If you're like me, your entire senior class is going to the same place as you for spring break (Miami...so unique...not). Do not, I repeat DO NOT, hook up with people from school/people you know. You can do that during the semester. Doing it in a different location is stupid/a waste of your lower parts.
• Making out in bars/clubs is acceptable. I don't care what anyone says.
• Let me shout out to my relationship peeps for a minute...don't cheat. That's not a good look.
• Alright, it's tempting. But, don't go home with random people. I know he's hot and he seems like a relatively sane human being but Lifetime wasn't lying about Craigslist killers. Again, you can't die because I need people to read this blog. So, here are your options: A) Just bring him back to your place and have your drunk friends deal with the consequences. Your friendship will be better because of it. B) Channel your inner Usher and make as much love as you can in the club without getting kicked out.
• No, really, make sure you wrap it up. Maury doesn't look like a really welcoming place to go to.
• Your goal: be the perfect drunk so you can get loose enough to make out with someone but you're not so drunk that you're that girl who blacked out. I mean you can be that girl if you want but she's not getting any action, trust me.
• What happens in spring break, stays in spring break.

So, with that, go off and live it up. Come back with some stories (and make sure stories are the only things that start with an "S" that you come back with.)

Love freely,

tY