So, I figured I would write a "Things Girls Wish Guys Knew" list because the last time I checked, most guys are not omniscient. Not even close. Not even a little bit.
- You've got a big ego. We know. We heard the Beyonce song. But, humility goes a long way for all human beings.
- Mutual is our word of choice when it comes to intimate activities. It isn't all about you.
- Perhaps you can't take subtle or strong hints. OK, fair enough. But, listen!
- Nothing is our default response when you ask if something is wrong. Ask twice.
- Try harder. And, when you feel like you're trying hard, try even harder.
- Don't try to dance with us when Single Ladies comes on. Please.
- Good looks mean absolutely nothing if you don't have something intelligent to say.
- If we didn't wear high heels at least some of the time, you guys would cry like little babies so shut up and admit that you like a girl to sex it up every once in awhile. Yeesh.
- One text message goes a long way in our book.
- Can you cook? Because if you can, you are the equivalent of God. Enough said.
- We know you guys can hook up with pretty much anything that has mammary glands, but give us space on our ugly/fat/unattractive days and stop trying to get it in all of the time.
- PMS is a justifiable excuse for some things. It's like an out of body experience.
- We will spare you the details of Sex and the City if you spare us the details of the football game, unless of course we ask.
- We notice when you put effort into your wardrobe.
- Don't ask about our day if you really don't care.
- Chauvinism is fine...in moderation.
- If you dab on some cologne, oh you are definitely getting lucky tonight.
- We wince when we hear you guys use the B word.
- We really do care if your mom likes us.
- We hope your friends aren't complete idiots.
- We notice if you are a serial dater. Guys who can't stand to be single are just as bad as girls who can't stand it.
- Leave the effing every girl in the world up to Lil Wayne. We don't like diseases.
- Your best bet for a pick up line is "Hello. My name is________"
- We have bodily functions, too.
- Skinny jeans are cool. Anorexic jeans are not.
- "Shawty" is not a real word, let alone our name.
- If you tell us you will call back in 5 minutes, please don't call back 2 hours later. At that point, you are not doing us any favors. Unlike you, we do not have a warped sense of time.
- Trust us, you might want us to fake it. Cause, if we don't, your feelings will be hurt. And, well, sometimes you just aren't good. And, well, that's OK.
- If we ask if you need anything from the store, please do not give us your grocery list for the next two weeks.
- You guys are kind of known for cheating. So, do us a favor and just break up with us if you are going to cheat.
- Your ex-girlfriend sucks.
- And because she sucks, we do not want her to have any way to contact us. Because, if she's crazy, she will.
- You know, we really don't ask that much of you guys. Sometimes your heads are just too far up your arse to see that.
- But, we love you anyway.
Love freely,
tY
No comments:
Post a Comment