Burn your bras, ladies. Chivalry is dead.
Ok, I just needed a way to grab your attention so that was my opening line.
Today, in my Spanish class we discussed differences between men and women. This is a topic I can easily speak about in English but in Spanish...ehh, different story. Nonetheless, it got me to thinking: is chivalry dead?
Dictionary.com defines chivalry as: the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms.
Usually, when I think of chivalry, I think of the guy who opens doors, helps the girl put on her coat, pulls the chair out at the table, etc. Maybe it even extends to the guy who buys flowers, rubs a woman's feet after a long day, etc.
Let me admit. I'm a bra burner myself which is a ridiculous way of saying I'm a feminist. Oh man, people always get so touchy about that word when really all it means is that I believe women should have equal rights as men. Chill. Relax. Keep reading.
Having stated my radical views, sometimes chivalry enfeebles me. I mean, I've been putting my coat on by myself for years (with the exception of the years my mom put it on me), so why do I need help now? Chivalry catches my attention on maybe a first or second date, but what about months, years, and even decades into a relationship?
The problem is sometimes when chivalry dies, we feel like the relationship is dying. If we become accustomed to our beau holding the door and suddenly one day he looks at us and waits for us to open it, we immediately sense a problem.
Today at the movie theatre I saw a woman wait for the guy to open the door for her. This is pure idiocy to me. If you get there before him, open it, woman. Haven't you learned how to be efficient?
In the end, despite my views about putting on my own coat, I would hope chivalry is not dead. In the same regard, I would hope kindness is not dead and I would hope women are willing to open doors just as much as men. I would hope that if your guy opens the car door for you, you return the favor and reach over and grab his door before he gets in. I hope men rub their lady's back after a long day and women rub their guy's back after he endured a never ending shift. I would hope respect, generosity, and mutual affection exist in all relationships.
If you expect your boy to always be the generous one, well, good luck to you. In the mean time, I'll keep burning my bra.
Love freely,
tY
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