Don't take a vacation, just move.

Am I the only one who is confused/irritated/all of the above when I hear a couple say, "We're on a break?"

I'm going to put all of this "on a break" nonsense to rest tonight.

Couples are these inseparable units tied by emotions, mental connections, intertwined hands, and hot and brain-washing sex. Yep, I said sex.

But, as a good ol' psych major friend told me last semester, relationships have phases, one of which is disillusion (or something like that.)

So, unfortunately, at some point in a relationship, one person may become disillusioned and decide it's time to keep it moving.

However, if said disillusioned person has a heart, they recognize the connection they've formed with the other person and they don't want to lay a pile of maneur on the love fantasies and wishes of the other person.

So, they go on a "break."

Or, people go on a break because it's a bad time, or they need space, or [insert other empty excuse here.]

Ok, so to recap: many couples go on breaks. But, I never hear of couples returning from breaks.

Oh, oh, oh. That's because break is a euphemism for break-up. Ok, I get it.

If you've never heard the expression (and have thus been living under a rock), breaking up is hard to do. Admitting that a tie is severed or we don't feel the same way we once did or our stretch with that person has reached its end can easily mean admitting failure or defeat for many people. So, going on a "break" softens the blow. At least for the moment.

However, unless you truly have the intention of taking a hiatus and returning to re-evaluate, I don't suggest "breaks." They only prolong an already painful process, adding even more of a mess and giving false hope to the other person.

Of course, there's something to be said for the type of love that withstands time, struggle, and heartache. There are lovers who return to one another and end up spending their lives together.

So, know where you stand on that spectrum. If it isn't that type of love (ie um this isn't your future spouse), give me a break and just break up. For your sanity.

And for mine.

Love freely,
tY