Just because you can...

A good friend of mine said something today that stuck with me and probably will for the rest of my life:

"Just because you can doesn't mean you should."

In the world of relationships, there are a lot of things we can do. The comfort of being monogamous and the freedom of being single create many opportunities for us and as adults, we have free will. In other words, we can do pretty much whatever we want. However, the perfect or as-perfect-as-perfect-can-get relationship life requires knowing that what we're "allowed" to do isn't always the best thing to do.

Example: Boy meets girl. Girl and boy laugh, flirt, start talking, and start dating. Boy and girl date for a few months and girl becomes secure enough to flip out when her boyfriend turns on the football game or calls her at 9:30 instead of 9. Girl knows she can flip out because her boyfriend is going to love her anyway. Boy is going to see past her insignificant bursts of anger and (get ready for it) still think she's the most beautiful girl in the world.

Not everyone reading this is in a relationship, so, here's example number 2.

Boy is single. Boy knows he doesn't have anyone to answer to at the end of the day but himself. Boy embraces this and seeks to hook up with any and all available females who will give him the time of day, ignoring emotions, safety, and mutual respect.

Example one is a prime case of taking someone for granted. Just because girl can yell at her boyfriend doesn't mean it's healthy for the relationship. I mean, you could use the bathroom in front of your boyfriend but would you? (And if you answered yes, I'm going to say three words: very bad idea. Leaving something to the imagination never hurt anyone...will pick this up on a later post.) Ultimately, girl is putting an unnecessary amount of wear and tear on the relationship and eventually, she will pay for it.

Example two is a prime case of abusing freedom. Being single has it's perks but just like a relationship, it requires responsibility. Arguably, it requires more responsibility because YOU have to look out for YOU. You don't have someone else who equally cares about you looking out for your best interest. You have to look out for your best interest and that's terribly difficult because it requires doing something that at times is nearly impossible: saying no.

You know what you can and can't do. You also know what you should or shouldn't do. A LOT of times in life, these two things will not align. But, you're a grown expletive man or woman. So be real with yourself. And the next time you doubt yourself about a decision concerning your lovable relationship life or free single one, remember that just because you can doesn't mean you should. To my friend who inspired this, thanks.

Love freely,
tY