Find Yourself

Poem is called Find Yourself because it's very random and scattered but I trust anyone can find themselves somewhere in this "sort of" poem, even if it's just one line.

sometimes she thought she asked for too much
other times she thought she settled for too little
she was always playing this emotional balancing act
trying to figure out if the right thing was right in front of her
and she was too blind to see it
or if she let the right thing slip right between her fingers
and she was too preoccupied to notice
maybe all she ever asked for
was 2 steps away from being right in her grasp
but her cynicism got the best of her
took the best from her
and left her in an all too familiar spot
alone.
and maybe she hid that loneliness
by throwing herself into other things
knowing nothing would ever fully fill the void
but other things would create a shield around the void
so nothing could touch it
even though she knew it was there
she had been scarred so much that she was scared
and she had lived with that fright so long that she forgot what it felt like to be happy
or at least that kind of happy
she had been holding on so long that her fingers formed a permanent grasp around the rope on her heart
and she couldn't even remember what it felt like to let go
she was two steps away from perfection
one step away from disaster
about a half step away from everything she wanted
and another half step away from everything she lost
maybe her cynicism didn't get the best of her
maybe she gave the best of her to him
or maybe he's holding the best of her because he brought it out of her
either way, maybe she doesn't have it
maybe it's somewhere buried deep inside
or in a skyrise apartment
or the cinder block walls of a miniscule dorm room
sometimes she knew she asked for too much
sometimes she knew she settled for too little
sometimes she knew she let the right thing
slip right between her fingers
and other times she knew it was never there all along.

love freely,
tY