This one's for the late and great.

I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)

Pretty Young Thing

You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)

Tender Lovin' Care

And I'll Take You There

I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)

Pretty Young Thing

You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)

Tender Lovin' Care

I'll Shake You There

Infusing free love with some of the greatest love lyrics of all time.

Love freely,

tY

Got a kick out of this. Hope you do, too. Enjoy.

How To Make Your Husband Happy Lifescript.com

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Love freely,
tY

Deadly combo

Ahh, this marks post number 50 for me. :celebrates:

Alright, moving on to more important things.

A friend and I got to talking this week about girls which led to a discussion about girls who are two words: hot and smart.

First things first, every girl wants to put themselves in this category. I mean maybe we're not all egotistical enough to call ourselves hot but we would like to believe we are somewhat attractive. We also would like to believe we have something going on up there in the cranium. Fair enough. But, in this context, smart means more than "I get A's on my exams" because, quite frankly, an A on an exam (to me at least) means you know how to study and attack the enemy. It does not necessarily mean you are "smart," although that is the implication.

No, in this context smart also means you are articulate. Well-versed. Opinionated.

Well-versed/articulate/opinionated+attractive=a tough combination.

It's the blessing and the curse. If you keep hitting up the gym and hitting the books and keeping that indomitable combination, you will prove to be great wife material in a few years. No one wants to marry a dumb broad. However, if you're hitting the gym and hitting the books during those lovely college years (ohh...from about 18-24), you could quite possibly serve as a threat to the male ego.

Why? Because ALL guys SAY they want a girl who's attractive and speaks her mind, but it's a classic case of be careful what you wish for. If and when most guys get that girl who has killer legs and also has no problem rapping about the state of the economy (which um if you're living in the same America where I'm currently writing this post, I hope with all my heart you can do) or who subscribes to Forbes or kicks back with a good book every now and again, they are intimidated. At this youthful, vibrant, let's-get-wasted-and-hook-up college age, the number of guys who can actually handle the substance of a strong girl are scarce. In the end, guys want a trophy piece. She looks great on the mantle but she doesn't respond. And, you would be surprised how many girls are trophy pieces. I mean, I get a great laugh out of them. They twirl their locks and laugh incessantly which makes me laugh incessantly so I think everyone wins.

But, we can't blame it on guys. Their egos haven't caught up yet. Men want to be dominant in every circumstance and when a woman impedes upon that dominance, it's a lot easier to step out than to step up. (So I sat here and reread that sentence and realized how much of a bra burner I sound like. Whoa.)

My advice? Keeping working out. Keeping reading. Keep improving yourself. If you're lucky, someone will come along, step up, and love it. You're living for you, not for the acceptance of the male psyche. And, in a few years when it's time to start thinking about that shiny thing that goes around a finger on your left hand, you will have the advantage of the chick whose most substantial thing to say was, "OH EM GEE. I am sooooo wasted!"

Love freely,

tY

Happy summer

Fall in love this summer. Or fall in lust. Or fall in like. Or fall in me, myself, and I. Just drop your head back and free fall through the sky.

Lines for today from a poem of mine that's not currently titled...

"I love you in a way that’s nostalgic. That reminds me of the would’ves and could’ves and what if it had gone thataways.
I love you from a distance. The way an amateur swimmer strolls around the deep end but only sticks their foot in because taking that plunge is lethal."

If you want the whole thing, just ask. Whether or not I will give it to you is debatable, but you're always free to ask :)

Love freely,
tY

Love is in the air

Some places just remind you of love. The movies is one of them.

I just returned from seeing The Proposal (surprisingly hilarious, I highly recommend it) and I saw a billion couples holding hands. Another surprise: I wasn't turned off nor did I long for what they had. It was just refreshing to see people in love...or lust, or like, whatever it was.

There's no rhyme, reason, or theme to this post tonight and I kind of like it that way.

Love freely,
tY

Dreamer

It's a timeless question. One that I've thought of especially now that I'm getting my first dose of working life.

Dream job or dream man?

I did an endless search of quotes for this post. And, while I hated her show, I loved this quote of hers. I'm not sure how much it relates but hey, it's good stuff.

"The thing women have yet to learn is that no one gives you power. You just take it."

-Roseanne Barr

There's no right or wrong to this hypothetical question. You're most likely young and have not been faced with a dream job or a dream man yet. But, think for a second. IF you had to choose, which would it be?

It's not a fair decision. Shouldn't any happy woman be able to have both? 

Unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way. When I look at successful women like Oprah or Tyra Banks or Bethenny Frankel (the best and only non-housewife of New York City), I see the dream job...but, not the dream man.

If your dream job is being a mother, you're in luck. Because, as far as I see it, that's the only guaranteed way to get both. Maybe I'm wrong. Just my theory. Otherwise, dream jobs come with sacrifice. Whoever heard of a female CEO who made it home by 5 everyday to feed a family? Send me the link if you find that one.

I've thought about this question a lot and I still could not tell you how I would answer it. And, even if I could answer it, I probably wouldn't tell you. I can, however, say this: I don't think a dream man exists. I can't conjure up in my head what he would look like, act like, or be like because I want someone who's perfectly imperfect. I can also tell you this: I've spent 4 weeks now working 9-5 (or some variation of that), and going home to just my laptop and the latest Curtis Sittenfeld novel is not enough. It's perfectly fine now because I'm 19 and this is my summer stint, but I can't imagine being 29 and having that be my full-time life.

Your dream man might not be what you expected. Your dream job might not be what you hoped for. But, as long as you keep on dreaming, maybe you'll end up lucky.

Love freely,

tY

Feel.

The poem's called Feel. The Author is me. I found it in the archives. Take it as you wish.

Love freely,
tY

maybe she should feel
denote that somehow all of this is real
open up and tell of her undying devotion
deal with the BS and heartstrings of emotion
but she knows this world.
a lot more than you'd expect for a college aged girl
she know pain, heartache, and despair
and at the end of the day, who is going to really care?
maybe she's harsh but it's all she knows
maybe these are the reasons she doesn't let go.
because you're naked when it's emotions you choose to show
she's already tried reaching for the stars
doing that only leaves her covered in scars
and each time she tries
she only ends up asking herself why
which leads to lonely nights where all she does is cry
so she can't
and she wouldn't
and maybe she should
but she just couldn't
maybe, just maybe
she should feel.

Sage words.

“Good girls never give it up on the first night.”
-Wale

Love freely,
tY

Ooey, gooey.

I'm walking into work this morning and I stop to get a paper. In front of the doorway where the soon-to-be-in-my-hands paper is, there's a couple. (insert "aww" here)

I watch them kiss once. Cute. I watch them then kiss again, for a longer period of time, before looking into each other's eyes with melancholy expressions as if his departure to Summer PSYC100 and hers to Summer COMM107 are journeys to France and Brazil.

Then, without even thinking about it, I rolled my eyes.

Am I a cynic? Have I lost the hope of what it means to be in love?

Nahh.

I think I just wanted them to move out of the doorway and go to class.

After your three hour lecture on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, I'm sure you'll see her again. Don't fret.

Love freely,
tY

In the words of Monica, "don't take it personal."

There are many reasons why I hate relationships. There are also many reasons why I hate singleness. See, I'm fair.

But, today, we're going to talk about a reason why I hate relationships.

It's the "taking it too personally" factor.

Two people in a relationship and two people in love are individuals, but they are also a unit. That unit is tied physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc. which can be a detriment at times.

OK, enough psychobabble. Let's dissect an example of "taking it too personally."

note: imagine yourself a wee bit older if you're in college...say 24/25ish where you would have a real job.

You've been dating this amazing guy and in the beginning, all he wants to do is spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with you. You kiss, you cuddle, you go out. Cute. But, eventually his job cracks down on him (or maybe his job was always strict but he found loopholes to spend time with you) and work requires him to spend longer nights at the office or cancel dinners. A few times you just let it go, but it goes from being occasional to frequent as you realize his job as a lawyer or investment banker (OK, maybe imagine that you're 28ish) requires unreasonably long hours.

You call the office late one night.

"You don't love me anymore! I miss you! Why won't you spend time with me?"

Clearly, the man is busy and now, because of your tirade, he's annoyed.

Stop being so selfish. He still loves you. But he also loves money (and you probably love his money, too, so it's in your best interest to keep quiet.)

Note: This scenario is worse and a lot more likely to end quickly if you're not even dating the person yet. Clingy is written all over your forehead and if you've read my previous posts, I'm not a fan of clingy girls.

In life, we all have priorities. This scenario could easily be reversed with a woman working late and a man ranting (See, I'm fair.) We all have obligations that trump time with our significant others. They don't trump the affection we have for them or how much we love them. Because as much as we love them, we should also love ourselves to want to improve ourselves and excel. This is just real life and as much as we might want to curl up in bed with our baby all afternoon, corporate America is calling. And, if you don't answer, you might not be able to afford the roof that covers that nice bed that you want to curl up in.

The best thing to do is find someone who fulfills your time requirements or get real and understand that just because his job is calling doesn't mean he doesn't care about you (note: option 2 is much harder.) And, when his job is calling, you shouldn't be.

You can't control the inevitable. If you fell for an investment banker, then you had to understand from the beginning that, well, you're girlfriend number 2. That office with a view of the city is girlfriend number 1.

Love freely,
tY

Freshly baked cupcakes

Saccharine: 1.of the nature of or resembling that of sugar: a powdery substance with a saccharine taste.
2.containing or yielding sugar.
3.very sweet to the taste; sugary: a saccharine dessert.
4.cloyingly agreeable or ingratiating: a saccharine personality.
5.exaggeratedly sweet or sentimental: a saccharine smile; a saccharine song of undying love.

You know her. The girl clinging to her boyfriend's arm smiling from ear to ear and going "Ohhh honey. Oh I love you. Oh you're so sweet." Meanwhile you're watching from the side thinking, "Ohh, I want to vomit."

I have coined a phrase for this girl: the cupcake.

The cupcake isn't just the girl who marvels at her boyfriend in a sickeningly sweet way, although she epitomizes the phrase. Cupcakes are also girls who just get all sugary or melt when they are with that guy they like.

If you haven't deduced this from my tone, I'm not a fan of the cupcake.

Being cute and in love can be cute and lovely. But, taking it to extremes where you're, well, saccharine, is gross for everyone involved, including your boyfriend. Everyone likes to eat just one cupcake but too many and you're sick to your stomach.

Chill out around the guy you like or better yet, are dating. I've learned that guys usually like girls who can kick it with them and be real; not ones who marvel at their ability to smile or watch TV or do things that normal human beings do.

If you get too sweet, he might start walking all over you thinking he can have his cake and eat it, too.

Love freely,

tY

Mean girls

A) I really need to start blogging more. Work and my internship (s) kind of rule my existence at the moment but blogging is a great destressor.

B) Here is my latest post.

I heard this quote awhile ago while I was still in school and I must say, truer words were never spoken.

"Guys are friends until something gives them a reason to be enemies; girls are enemies until something gives them a reason to be friends."

There is a plethora of media about the destructive relationships among women. Essence editor-in-chief Angela Burt-Murray even wrote about it in her editor's note in her magazine awhile ago. Films like Mean Girls glorify it. Women are characteristically not nice and more importantly, they are not nice to one another.

This is kind of about relationships and love and all of that wonderful jazz I write about and kind of not. Part of this is about a fundamental and sometimes subconscious flaw among a gender that needs to unite.

Think about it. Have you ever been out at a restaurant or dancing at a club, spotted some hot chick, and eyed her down? Even if you don't want to own up to it, you probably have, even if it's on the most subconscious level.

Why? Why do we this? We know nothing about someone who is more attractive than us than that well, she's more attractive (in our opinion at least.) We go into "survival of the fittest" mode thinking that she might have a better chance of getting that cute guy on the dance floor than we do. It's all mental, people.

Really, it only reflects poorly on women as a whole when we victimize one another and avoid friendships. I'm an avid believer that you can not and will not be friends with everyone. But, I'm also an avid believer in not having enemies. At worst, let's remain neutral toward women we don't know and at best, let's be kind. Men look at our behavior and notice it whether we realize it or not (I heard the quote I wrote about here from a guy.) Not only do guys notice it, but they judge who we are and who we will be in a relationship based on it. No one wants a girlfriend who is going to get insecure anytime a hot girl walks by. I say, acknowledge that she's cute. Everyone can appreciate beauty, not just men.

And, even if we're not worried about what guys think about us (which should not be our first priority), we need to worry about what we think of ourselves.

Can't we all just get along????

Love freely,

tY