Water works

I've had an interesting week in terms of giving relationship advice.

Contrary to what you may think because of this blog, I do not consider myself a relationship guru by any means. I also don't know how effective my advice is.

Nonetheless, this week, I found myself in two situations where I was giving solicited advice to male friends. And, both of their situations involved a girl. Crying.

Ohhh, dear.

Most guys have a tendency to melt when they see a girl crying, whether it's someone they really care about or a stranger. While this is a somewhat redeeming quality, it can also be really damaging and blinding.

I once had an ex tell me he wasn't going to make a decision about us getting back together just because I was crying. And, I thought (and said) you're doing me a disservice if you get back with me out of pity. It's vile for girls to cry just to manipulate someone so they can get their way. Because, for those of us who cry when we are genuinely angry or upset or hurt, we've lost all credibility.

I'm not saying the girls in the situations I gave advice about we're manipulative. I don't know them. But, I do know the guys. And, well, they're not softies.

I can understand why crying isn't easy to deal with and why it's heartbreaking. And, it's reasonable to sympathize to a certain extent. Being compassionate is admirable. Being passive is reprehensible. At some point, you have to take a step back and realize something that's plain and simple: girls cry. People cry. Hearts split, they shatter, they break. Feelings get hurt. And, maybe it's the realist in me talking, but after you've felt terrible because you're girl cried, get to the root of the problem and fix it. And trust me, the root of the problem is not her tears.

Love freely,

tY