This Is College

Someone told me I have 35 days left until graduation. I'm sorry: what, when, where, why, and how? A few months ago, I read this entry on another blog (s/o to http://thefrenemy.tumblr.com/ read her, she rocks and is far more witty and wonderful than I could ever be) called "Dating In Your Twenties." Because I'm still rocking the 21 year old glow, I could never write something like this and can instead only be inspired and taught by it. But, I realize, with 35 days left till graduation, I can write "Dating in College." So here is my completely skewed, completely biased take on the subject. It's long so for those of you who can't read anything longer than a Tweet, avoid. (Note: I stole the first line from the entry from thefrenemy. It was fitting and I don't care if you think I'm a plagiarist.) The first thing to do is let go. Let go of the high school love whom you spent countless nights making out with on the sticky leather sofa in the basement. The high school love is called "high school" and not "forever" love for a reason and although the high school love has gifted you with fine and fond memories of doing inappropriate things in inappropriate places such as movie theaters and libraries, it's time to move on. This is college and everyone secretly laughs at that person who says "she's still in high school" when asked "Where does your girlfriend go to school?" Dating your freshman year is a mistake, one you will only realize in retrospect. You will only understand it was a mistake when you see that freshman year is the only year that it is mildly acceptable to screw anything on the face of the campus, albeit you don't wind up with a disease because no one likes a dirty girl. Freshman forgiveness does not only apply to your first 24 credits; it also applies to any and every thing you do because you can chalk it up to being a bright-eyed and dumbass freshman and we'll excuse it. On the contrary, not doing anything with anyone your freshman year is stupid. Yes, your reputation is important, but, again, in retrospect you'll realize that even in the years you spent building it, no one really cares unless/until it crumbles. Screw something. Get drunk and tell someone they have beautiful eyes and you like long walks on the beach and, in 10 years, you guys will have gorgeous kids together. Go out the next night and say the same things to someone else. I'd like to say dating in a college is a mistake, but that would be slightly blasphemous considering I've seen a few relationships stand the test of keg stands, all-nighters, and time. So, I won't say dating is a mistake. I will instead say TREAD WITH EXTREME CAUTION AND YES I AM YELLING ABOUT THIS. I know more people leaving college single after having had something serious here than I know of people leaving with something serious. But, if it's love, if it's can't live without, if it's everything you hoped for and more, then, psha, do it. Go for it. Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, all that stuff. Give it everything you have while still trying to balance 15 credits, jobs/internships, your sorority...and let me know how things panned out for you. Dating in college is like dating long distance...don't do it unless you feel in your heart of hearts, the sober, thinking clearly, heart of hearts, that this could actually work in the long run. You don't have to say it out loud. You just have to know it. Otherwise, you'll waste these four years giving someone else a self of yours that you don't even quite know yet. And, in the event that you do date, don't let arguments last more than one hour. Know when to say sex is more important and when to say your grade in English is more important. Know your boundaries. And, if you're single, live it up. Kiss random people, do random stuff, soak up the fact that these are four years where almost anything goes and soon, the corporate world will not appreciate or reward your skanky tactics. But, stop crying when there aren't any prospects in sight and you haven't gotten laid in 2 months. Read a book...please. Start a blog. Go skydiving, I don't give an eff, just do something for you. Just for you. Because the guys in college aren't going to fulfill that emotional void that you have; the best they will do is add a layer to a filling you've already created. Don't look for love; it'll find you. Don't try to find yourself; have fun being lost. Don't obsess over your weight; no one sees that you just gained 5 pounds. Don't care so much about boys; build yourself up for the men who will come your way in life. Don't read horoscopes or blogs, even this one, hoping to find all of the answers; the people who produce that stuff (self included) are just as screwed up as anyone else. Don't wear that little black dress because you wanna get a man; wear that little black dress because your legs go on for days and you look amazing in it. Don't look for a relationship at a bar or club; soon enough, you're going to miss that time you spent just dancing with your girlfriends. Don't date someone because they look good on paper; sometimes, those are the people who turn out to be the biggest asses. Don't do anything you don't want to do and do everything you want to do; this is college and after these 4 years, you're never getting it back. Love freely, tY