The Waiting Game

To all of my single people out there...this one's for you.

There are some unwritten rules in dating. Theories if you will. Things that both men and women believe in and try to adhere to. We aren't always successful in this regard but these little ideals help to guide our dating lives. Recently, with a few different people, I've talked about a major one of these little ideals: waiting.

We all know you're not supposed to look for someone to date because, yeah yeah when you look you'll never find. But, what about the meantime? You know...that time after your last relationship but before your next one. What the hell are you supposed to do then?

Some people believe in waiting for the right person to come along and only investing their time and energy into bettering themselves during that off season. They believe that meaningless flings only delay the process of finding something good.

Other people believe in those meaningless flings like it is their religion. They come from the "party party party let's all get wasted" school of thought and believe that life is short and shouldn't be spent not getting laid.

Both of these approaches are complete opposites and I don't think they work being mutually exclusive. I think you have to have both, quite frankly. You should work on bettering yourself, enjoying your life, and riding solo a la Jason Derulo but, hey, a little (safe) horizontal tango-ing never really hurt anyone. The most important thing is not to lie to yourself. Don't lie to yourself with the "I'm going to be single (aka celibate) until the next great person comes along," and stop bs-ing with the "I don't really like this guy, we're just hooking up." And, more importantly than not lying to yourself, don't beat yourself up if you change your mind about something or someone or do something you're not necessarily proud of or proclaim how you're "so done" and then text that person you're "so done" with and crawl into bed with them. This is life, this is dating, you are young, and there aren't any real rules (as long as you don't get pregnant or contract an icky disease.)

You'll need some stories to tell someday, anyway, when you're old, married, have children, and no longer have the freedom to engage in these shenanigans.

Love freely,
tY