Happy 100th!

I'm baaaack. Laptop is fixed!

100

Today is my 100th post!!! It's hard to believe I started this blog one random morning during a graveyard shift and now I'm writing my 100th post. Thanks to everyone who follows this and knows I am not the relationship guru but still enjoys reading this anyway.

In honor of "anniversaries," let's talk about time.

Remember when you were in high school and you couldn't wait to make it to your 6 month anniversary with your boyfriend? Oh, man. Those were the days.

1 month anniversaries. 6 month anniversaries. 1 year anniversaries. Golden anniversaries.

Two years since you broke up with your boyfriend. Five months since he changed.

"When was the last time you hooked up with him?"
"Two weeks ago."

Time is this way we quantify our lives and our love. If you've been dating for two months, it's still new. Six months? In it's prime. A year? It's serious.

It's been a month since you hooked up with him? Good job (well, if he sucks.)

This is my 100th post? Wow, I must really enjoy loving freely.

Time is this entity that's constantly slipping through our hands. We never have enough of it. And, as important as time is, sometimes we have to realize we can't ever quantify our lives and our love with time. Some one month relationships have more love than 20 year marriages. Some people can't get over a breakup after 5 years, some people only take 5 days. We all heal differently, we all live differently, we all love differently.

Here's to the next 100.

Love freely,
tY

Destruction: Love, lust, and like.

Not a poem. Random string of thoughts.

People themselves are not destructive.
They don't come along hoping to destroy our lives or break our hearts or manipulate us.
Feelings and emotions are where the destruction comes into play.
The time we devote to these people
and the ways in which we fall for them
bring out the ugliness that wasn't there in the beginning.
At the end of relationships or relationwhatevers we always put the blame on the person.
And sometimes it's fair.
But, sometimes it's not.
Maybe we should take some of the responsibility for our actions
our reactions
and most importantly, our feelings.
Maybe we should realize that sometimes when we get in too deep
we haven't just dug a hole
we've fallen into an abyss
and maybe sometimes we just have to realize that's what love, lust, like, and all of the above do.
Because sometimes I think "like" and "lust" are just duller, more elementary, watered down versions of love.
Their "ike" and "ust" never turn into "ove"
but the emotions behind them are still all encompassing
so powerful that we become powerless
or maybe "ike" and "ust" are just ways to deny that we actually love someone
words that society deems more fit because love is scary
and everyone knows it.

Love freely,
tY

The Friday night

Note: Laptop is dead as a door knob. I am blogging right now from the convenience of my wonderful desktop at home but posts might not be as consistent this week.

On to The Friday night.

How many weekend nights have you spent curled up next to your boyfriend or significant other or hookup doing absolutely nothing? You know, watching a movie or just talking. Not going out. Just think about it.

Now, how many weekend nights have you spent just chilling...alone?

More or less, I chose to spend my Friday night by myself with a Sex and the City DVD, Noodles and Company, and my journal. My sister and I laughed about it the next day, calling me a loser.

But, as I walked up the steps to my dorm last Friday, I saw a couple strolling hand in hand, probably preparing to do the same thing I did. Nothing. Except they were doing nothing...together.

Here's the thing. When couples spend nights together doing pretty mindless activities, we think it's cute. Because it is. Being able to spend pure downtime with another human being is quite a gift. But, when we spend downtime by ourselves, we don't think it's that cute. Actually, we think it's kind of pathetic as if we couldn't find someone else to spend time with or our plans just fell through.

Of course I don't agree with that notion and I would bet most people don't. No one wants to spend every night of every weekend by themselves. Therein lies a social problem. But choosing to spend a night by yourself, even electing to spend a night alone with a movie and some ice cream over going out with friends or hanging out with your boyfriend, is actually a bit healthy. Everyone needs a minute to hear their own thoughts and just enjoy being alone. The inability to do such a thing is actually when you have the problem.

So, next time you spend your Friday or Saturday night curled up with a good movie and some fattening food, remember the only thing you "lost" is a couple of dollars at Blockbuster.

Love freely,
tY

Without you

I didn't think I could make it without you

because at one point in life everything I did was about you

but through some strange string of events

God gave me a gift and it was strength he sent

and everyday, every day

I'm doing it without you

Love freely,

tY

Thoughts

In life, we regret the things we didn't do more than the things we did.

In lust, like, and sometimes love, we regret the things we did more than the things we didn't do.

Through it all, everything happens for a reason.

Love freely,
tY

Outbursts

I wonder if Kanye West cuts off Amber Rose when she's speaking, too.

Love freely,
tY

Random sentiments today.

First off, yesterday was my first REAL wedding. And, by real I mean a) ceremony b) reception (woo, line dances!) c) i know and love the bride well enough that I wasn't interacting with people who I didn't really know and having to be cordial and awkward. And, um, it was awesome. I like weddings. I like witnessing love. That's all.

On to my post.

Decisions about love, like, and lust are all tough. So I guess this post is going to completely invalidate me as a blogger. Oh, darn. Guess I need to find another gig.

My point is no matter how much advice you get from other people, at the end of the day, your decisions are yours to make. You have to do what works for you, what makes you happy, and what will be healthy and good for you. Unfortunately, it's usually hard to make a decision that meets all of the aforementioned criteria.

To add a random point, I also believe in karma. If you do not right your wrongs yourself, or make hard but smart choices, if you choose to not be dishonest or not disclose complete truths, life has a way of doing it for you. And, life's way is usually a lot more unforgiving.

:Wink: (you know who you are)

Love freely,
tY

Buffer zone

I'm proposing a theory.

I once heard in Sex and the City that we get one great love in life, maybe two if we are lucky.

My theory?

You get a first love and a soulmate. Everything (and everyone) else in between the first love and the soulmate are just buffers. Just moments and experiences preparing you for what will be the most earth shattering love of your life.

Sometimes my posts can be cynical, skeptical, sarcastic, harsh, or all of the above. Despite this fact, I wouldn't devote 92 posts (almost to 100!) to talking about a little thing called love. Guess I'm a sucker for it sometimes.

So, if you're in the buffer zone right now whether that means you are dealing with a complete loaf, getting over a complete loaf, liking someone you don't think you will ever love, or just learning about yourself,, i say, buff, baby, buff. And if you've found your soulmate, well then, lucky you (oops, there goes that sarcasm.)

Love freely,
tY

9/11/01

Sending love today.

September 11, 2001

Love freely,
tY

When It Hurts So Bad

"What you want might make you cry
and what you need might pass you by
if you don't catch it"
--Lauryn Hill, "When It Hurts So Bad"

Love freely,
tY

Fly

Poem. That is all.

Love freely,
tY

Here’s something I have to do
Admit that you’re never going to want me the way I want you.
And maybe I’ve tried to hide it all the nights I crept to your bed
But that was only suppression of the million thoughts running through my head
A million thoughts that can be simplified into one
Something I have to face now that all of those late nights are done
You will always be in my life, forever in my heart
But I need to stop something that should’ve never had a start
Because this is never going to be good enough
No matter how hard I try
So it’s time to open my heart and let you fly
Because I deserve someone who loves me for me
Someone who will just let me be
And once upon a time, in a world that didn’t know anger, hurt, texts filled with cursing
You were that person
And I’m glad you’re not anymore
But sometimes I miss what we were before
I love me more than I’ll ever love you
So letting you go is something I must do.

Explicit, implied...so many rules.

Hooking up has never been so complicated.

The rules of the casual hook up are extensive. The casual hook up is actually kind of an oxymoron because the more we casually hook up with one person, the less casual it is. Shouldn't it be called the "casual-turned-serious hookup?" Many relationships have formed out of late night hot sessions.

The problem with the casual hook up is that after a certain period of time, we (and by we I'm referring to the female population) begin to assume that we are exclusively hooking up with that one person.

Key word: ASSUME.

Unless two people EXPLICITLY decide to be exclusive (and still casual...), all body parts of other people are up for grabs.

Hooking up with someone else when you are implicitly hooking up with one person exclusively is like texting in the middle of church: you shouldn't do it but in the end, who's gonna punish you?

In other words, ethics, people. Ethics.

There is no lesson here. There's only a conclusion. Hooking up is a tricky, messy game that somehow the smart, the simple, and the stupid alike all get involved in at some point. You've been warned.

Love freely,
tY

Relationships...the stuff this blog is made of.

I've talked to a lot of diff people lately about relationships and whether or not I personally believe in them. People's responses to my thoughts are always interesting...I've been praised for being non committal and called a cynic at the same time.

See, the funny thing is I devote an entire blog to writing about relationships.

But, this blog isn't REALLY about relationships necessarily. It's about love and everything that goes along with it...boyfriend love, best friend love, mom and dad love, sister love, whatever. Sure, I mostly write about relationship love cause like I said in my very first post, it's universal, man.

But, I don't think I'm non committal. I'm actually committed to a lot of things...school (a newer development, but a commitment nonetheless), people I love, internships, myself, being happy. Maybe it's my commitment to those things that makes me uncommitted to well, commitment.

And, maybe that's how it should be.

Some people can balance it all. And, to me, as long as those people are happy, then do what you do. If you can't balance it all, find what works for you. Pick what's important to you. And focus. Most relationships don't last forever, but an undergraduate GPA does...well maybe not FOREVER but long enough.

And as always...

Love freely,
tY

the hardest thing

sometimes you just gotta do the hard stuff
the stuff you don't wanna do
the stuff that pulls your security blanket off and hides it somewhere
the stuff that you've never considered doing before
whether out of fear or hurt or insecurity
sometimes to make your life just a little bit easier
you gotta do the hardest thing.

love freely,
tY

True words

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got."

Love freely,
tY

Stand

"Sometimes you have to stand alone to prove that you can still stand." - Anonymous

Love freely,
tY

Women are crazy. That is my final synopsis.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg-heCy0CbQ

^Please watch. And please laugh and feel the desire to deny your womanhood because this woman makes all women look horrible...that's what I did.

Love freely,
tY

No means no

I love guys. I mean, I love guys for many reasons but I also love guys because they are honest.

OK. Allow me to explain.

Guys lie about a lot of things...they don't tell their girlfriends when they cheat and they tell us were the only one when there are three other ladies on the side.

But, guys are honest about one thing. What they want.

Wait, let me explain this one, also. Because sometimes they lie and say they want to get to know us when really theres only one part of us that they are interested in getting to know.

Every girl has met a guy who says, "I don't want a girlfriend."

And, to the women out there who want to think they'll change that, or it doesn't matter, I just want to say, "No, really. He's serious. He doesn't want a girlfriend."

Guys are typically very upfront about these types of things, girls are just too dumb to listen. So prove me wrong and wisen up, ladies. When he says he doesn't want a girlfriend, accept your place as the 2am call person or politely excuse yourself fom the situation...BEFORE you're in too deep.

Love freely,
tY