Friends? With benefits

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/10/09/tf.friends.with.benefits/index.html

CNN published an article in October of 2008 titled, "The proper way to be friends with benefits." CNN. one of the most credible news sources in the United States. Apparently this issue is newsworthy.



My only question: IS there a "proper" way to be friends with benefits?



Everyone's done it whether knowingly or unknowingly. Whether it was with an ex, a stranger you met at the club, one of your really good friends or anyone else, EVERYONE has routinely hooked up with someone whom they are not exclusively dating. And, if you haven't, just live a little longer.



In a society where people are working, texting, studying, spending hours behind a laptop, and CONSTANTLY moving, friends with benefits is an easy way for our desires to keep pace with our fast paced lifestyle. We all have libidos but we don't have the time to invest in committment or relationships or the mess that comes along with emotions. So, the simple solution is to engage in a "no strings attached" relationship.

The name of friends with benefits is misleading because most of the time, an actual friendship doesn't exist. There's an understanding that things are purely physical, nothing more, nothing less.

But, perhaps if you find yourself in a friends with benefits situations where you are ACTUALLY friends with the person, it's even worse. Because someone is bound to committ the carnal sin in a friends with benefits situation and...uh oh here's the punchline...develop feelings for the other person. And, then, not only do you lose a comfortable hook-up buddy, but you also lose a friend which is ten times worse.

It's virtually impossible to be intimate with someone on a continuous basis without developing feelings. If you're not part of that group, congratulations. You've been able to outsmart the system.

Do commitment and exclusivity no longer go hand in hand? Are we so busy or just too lazy that we can devote ourselves physically but not offer the other facets of our personality that are just as important?

Love freely,
tY