Theory or Practice?

Today, originally unbeknownst to me at first, a married man hit on me. This prompted the bitch to come back with a blog post.

Anonymous married man is a coworker whom I had a good deal of respect for until this incident. Needless to say, I was shocked when he told me via work IM that he had a wife and a child. It not only made me 1) sad and 2) hesitant to keep talking but 3) made me wonder how authentic is the institution of marriage?

I didn't come to crush the dreams of people who believe in happily ever after. I, too, want to get married. No questions asked. But, when this man told me "marriage is BS unless you're in love" (a clear admittance that he doesn't love his wife) I started losing even more faith in this institution. The number of people whom cheat or get divorced is way higher than the number who stay married and if they stay married, how many of them are happily married????

I think too many people (namely women) stop at the "Here comes the bride" and don't think about marriage as an institution. A complete toss up of your entire world. Something you have to committ yourself to every possible minute if it has any chance of working.

I feel badly for the guy at my job, but at least it's not too late for most of us. Just remember, the wedding is the dream, but marriage is the act.


Love freely,
tY

Enjoying the Moment

Loveghost continues...

Dating these days is tough. I’m surprised people even get together, no lie. There’s just a lot going on: timing, distance (refer to last entry), age, baggage (how many exes are you friends with??), and a whole bunch of other crap. That phase before two people actually become official is just a roller coaster of joy, nervousness, and anger. And if you’re like me, I tend to think more about the future than the present during this phase, well… that was my thinking until a friend of mine told me something that really touched me. She is currently in a situation where she’s “seeing” someone, but their future is iffy because that someone doesn’t want to be in a relationship yet because of yada yada yada reasons. So, naturally I tell her that I feel sorry for her situation, but she surprises me and says that she’s very happy. She’s happy because she really tries to enjoy the moments she has with this person. Sure, she could think about the future and where their relationship is going to be, but that just gives her unnecessary stress. Think about it this way, if there was a genie who granted you the power to see into the future of your relationship, would you do it? There are only two possibilities: either you stay together for the long-run or it ends. And while we like to think as optimistic individuals that most relationships last forever, we know that most relationships, especially at our age, end eventually. So you would tell that genie “no.” Because let’s say it actually lets you know that your relationship will end in 7 months, would you still pursue that person? I think not. So therefore, you have to enjoy those moments in the present. Savor and learn from those experiences, I know I will.

Distance: Introducing the Loveghost

It's been over 2 months since I've blogged but I'm pleased to announce Free Love is back. With a twist.

Before I tell you the twist, I will say that my hiatus was due to many reasons, the main ones being that I was lazy and working my you know what off so I didn't have time to do this. But, on a love note, I will say that I've spent the past year and some change blogging about love and in my own life, I'm now wondering what happens after you've found the love. I've been in limbo, never wanting to fail my single readers but coming from a different place now...

So, I have someone here to solve my problems while I decide where I'm going to go with my entries...

Name: Loveghost.

Loveghost is an actual person who is sending me entries via email for me to post. Are you creeped out? Don't be. Loveghost is a credible source, someone who has helped me out with many rough love patches.

So, here's Loveghost's very first entry...

Distance.

We all know couples who have broken up because of it. But are the reasons ever justified? We’ve heard it all: communication is going to be difficult, less physical intimacy, more prone to cheating, etc. Well I say that we need to get over that BS. The bottom line is that people are lazy. They do not want to put in that extra work in a long distance relationship, so either one or both of them quit.

But here’s my thing, convenience in a relationship is a privilege, not a right. Distance will inevitably be part of most relationships. People are always in a transitional state; whether it is high school to college, college to grad school/full-time work, or work to another work location. So if couples are too lazy to deal with distance, then they should probably never date. Because when you go out with someone, you never know where both of you will end up in the future.

You should never let distance stop you from something that could be amazing. Sometimes you have to think of the big picture. You may be long distance for many years, but that’s small compared to the number of years you will have with your partner once you get back together. Distance should be looked at as something that strengthens a relationship instead of something that weakens one.

Bottom line, sacrifice is a big part of any relationship. Don’t get lazy. Take that chance with your partner if it goes long distance. And remember, there’s a reason God invented cars, planes, and video-chatting.

- Love Ghost