You Are What You Attract

There's a common expression: "You are what you eat."

While cruising up to beautiful Connecticut this past weekend and listening to the radio, I heard an expression that may be even more useful: "You are what you attract."

Men get a lot of shit for being pretty god awful human beings. Women, too, get some shit for being golddiggers among other things. But, I'm going to propose a new theory. Maybe the problem isn't the man or the woman. Maybe the problem...is you.

Alright, listen. Some people are just inherently bad people. Some people can't be cured and well, guess it's just a rainy life for them. And, sometimes, no matter how good we are, we will deal with our fair share of parasites. But, we can't always put the blame on other people, their lack of life skills, and their inevitable douchebag traits. Sometimes, we have to take a look at ourselves and wonder why these imbeciles keep flocking to us.

I like to think life is a stage. Everything that creates an overt image of you (ie what you say, do, and wear in the public sphere) elicits a certain audience. A retired Shakespearean scholar isn't going to sit down at a Lady Gaga concert (well, Gaga is pretty universal, maybe I'm wrong...but you get the point) Why? Because Gaga's performances, clothes, etc attract a certain group of fans.

How you present yourself, both on the exterior and on the interior, says a lot about the company you keep and the company you want to keep. It isn't even just about clothes or appearances. If you give off that vibe that you are giving life a big middle finger and you could care less about good things in life (define good as you will, I won't invoke my standards here), then why would you ever attract someone who actually cares about life and people? That would be a non sequitur, folks.

Like I said, some people just suck at life. But, those people won't matter if we don't suck at life and choose to only surround ourselves with awesomeness.

Love freely,
tY

Sex and the...doesn't work that way.

As Sex and the City 2 is set to be released next month, a long overdue blog post is finally being written. You will call me a hypocrite after this post. And, well, I am perfectly OK with that. Because, although I have spent many late nights watching syndicated episodes on TNT and although I will buy advanced tickets for the sequel, I think Sex and the City gives a painfully twisted perception of relationships, men, and dating.

Perhaps I should merely list the reasons for this particular thesis. (Yes. I said thesis. Take it.)

1. Samantha Jones is a fictional character. If she sleeps with 20+ men, it is fiction. If you sleep with 20+ men, you are a harlot. No, no. Don't give me the female liberation "women are equal to men, sex is liberating" card. Men who sleep with 20+ people are also whores.


2. You can't be a NYC lawyer and have that much time for sex and dating. Sorry, Miranda.


3. If you return to the man who played you several times, you aren't finding that "big" love. You're a bit stupid, no?


4. Maybe Charlotte is the most realistic character on the show with her idealistic expectations.

I think Sex and the City is great in theory, not in practice. I do believe more women should forego the idea that men can have a lot of sex and women can't. However, I'm not sure this means drop your skivvies on every date and miraculously, he'll still call back and maybe even fall in love with you.

So, my advice is to go get those tickets for May 28. And, enjoy SATC for exactly what it is--fiction. It's just like when you saw the Lion King when you were a kid and shrieked when Mufasa died. It's not real life. Sorry, kid.

Love freely,

tY

Thumbs Up

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/personal/04/12/everyone.happy.my.relationship/index.html

"I could look at it one of two ways. I am a loving person and friends were happy that I had finally found someone to really love me back. Or, whether people admitted it or not, they felt relieved that I was no longer alone, as if everything were going to be OK now, because, for as far as we've come, there's still the underlying belief that a woman needs a man to be complete.
I am certainly happy to have a boyfriend I love and who loves me back, but honestly, I would have preferred if friends and family had celebrated my Facebook single status with the same gusto. Learning to love being alone is hard, and, in my opinion, is worth way more "likes" than an added "heart" next to your name. "

I agree with this article in the sense that sometimes we are fooled into believing love is a panacea for all that is wrong with our lives. Sorry, girls. Love won't get you a better GPA, it won't make your parents stop fighting and it won't make you feel any better about yourself if your self esteem is at zero. Stop looking to men to solve the problems that you're too lazy to fix yourself.

Tyece Wilkins likes this.

Love freely,
tY

Thought Process

I need to use this thing more.

I guess it's just that love has gone from a hobby and interest to a... personal investment if you will and I'm relucant to plaster my feelings all over the net.

That being said, let's begin, kids.

I'm not sure why this blog has made people think I'm the love guru. I'm certainly not yet this hasn't stopped friends from asking me about their love lives in which I'm a quiet observer at best. Thanks, people. I'm really not that cool but I appreciate your confidence in my Hitch like abilities.

In talking to my friends and thinking about my own life, I realized a pretty overarching statement: women think too much.

Do I call him? Should I wait for him to call? Do I care too much? Is he bored? Why did that girl talk to him? Why didn't he say I love you that time? It's a stream of unnecessary verbal vomit. Meanwhile, men sit pretty. They are either in it or they are not in it and they have no qualms or doubts about it.

I admire this about men and it's a characteristic I want to embody, as I feel all women should. Thinking too much is like reading the movie review. In some cases, it helps you know what to expect. But, most times, it just screws with your expectations and makes for a less enjoyable experience.

Be in something 100%. Give it your all or don't do it. And once you decide to do it, don't think about it.

Just go to the damn show.

Love freely,
tY