Seriously?

There's a phobia most people share. Some openly admit it while others deny it.

Committment.

I could branch off a million different ways with this topic but I'm a 19 yr old college student so I'm gonna put that particular spin on this.

Being serious. :cringe:

Relationships have a natural progression. They start off fun and carefree and eventually move to being less spontaneous and more serious. And, unfortunately in many circumstances, that then progresses to an end.

Everyone longs to preserve the early days of a relationship (maybe when it wasn't even referred to as a relationship) when everything was flirtacious, funny, and free-spirited. When hooking up always felt like the first time yet ironically kept getting better. When every story was new and the slate was blank.

However, as we invest more time in someone and peel our layers, that investment translates into how we interact with the person. You don't tell someone your deepest secret or cry uncontrollably in front of them and then chalk it up to fate the next time you see them and they don't greet you with a kiss and a hug. You're offended, not only because you are forming a close bond but because you've fallen into a routine. Spontaneity is what forms relationships; routine is what makes them relationships.

Unfortunately, spontaneity is also what preserves relationships and it's hard to see that.

I've been kind of random in this post so what's my point?

No one LIKES being serious. For most people my age (and I will go on a whim and do a personal confession...yes, even me) being serious is fatal. Scary. Something we avoid at all costs. We feel ourselves having serious feelings and we pull back for fear of rejection or for fear of the unknown. Or, worse, for fear of repeating the same serious past relationships we've had. But, being serious, caring deeply for someone and forming idiosyncratic patterns with someone is completely out of our hands. Our hearts move faster and more passionately than our heads and by the time you're head has caught up, you're probably already in love.

So, if and when a situation comes along that is healthy for you, forget fear of being serious. All you can do is be you and always keep things fresh. You're more likely to regret foregoing a relationship that could have been perfect for you than regret losing one that you chose. Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Love freely,

tY