Happily Married...Oxymoron?

So marriage is something, even the most cynical nonbelievers such as myself, think about. It's a societal norm, an expectation, a hope, and an entity that quite frankly I have no business blogging about because it's the furthest thing from my mind at this moment. BUT, a friend and I were talking and it got me thinking which, of course, got me blogging.

Is anyone happily married anymore?

Our culture has thrown marriage into reality tv shows and magazines, making it seem like more of a commodity and less of a unique thing that combines love and a lot of work. This is why women my age, my young wonderful age of 21, know what their first song is going to be, who will design their dress, and what color roses they'll have in their bouquet. But, see, we're only obsessed with the wedding. The hard work, sleepless nights, and unexpected fights in public...we can't see far enough ahead for that. But, as always, I digress.

I'll ask again: is anyone happily married anymore?

Personally, I'm of the school of thought that marriage is not natural. One person for the majority of your life defies human nature in my eyes. Now, maybe those are just young-I-am-at-the-point-in-life-where-I-just-want-to-do-me-and-have-fun eyes, but hey, take it for what it's worth. Now, this doesn't mean I don't believe in marriage. It's a beautiful thing. But, I can say the number of effed up unsuccessful marriages/divorces I've seen or heard of far outshines the number of happy marriages.

A friend of mine once told me marriage is a lot of luck. I can't help but agree. I think love is vital to a marriage but people can change so much over the course of their lives that, at some point, you have to believe something just as crazy and out-of-control as love (such as luck) comes along and helps out.

Of course there are people who are happily married. I love those old couples who still hold hands in the grocery store. I mean, I don't walk behind them because they're moving too slowly but I do admire them.

I don't have any solid conclusions about marriage. I'm not supposed to; I'm 21. And, I think even if and when I'm ever married, I still won't know what I'm doing. And, maybe there in lies the beauty of it. Knowing you'll never have all of the answers but not being afraid to ask the questions anyway.

I don't know what that means but it kind of worked.


Love freely,
tY

More than a beso

Happy November, ladies and gentlemen. Hope your Halloween 2k10 was a success.

I don't know if I've blogged about this before...if I have, forgive me.

Often times, when we think of cheating, we think of a physical act--kissing someone else, having sex with someone else, etc. And, in my humble opinion which is the only one that matters on this blog, those things certainly qualify as cheating. But, as my friends and I have recently discussed, there is such a thing as emotional cheating.

So, what's worse...a kiss with a stranger or an emotional connection with a new found friend?

Some people would say cheating is cheating. Others, like myself, would say there are different levels of cheating. A drunken kiss with some person you don't know at a club doesn't hit as high on the scale as building a connection/intense flirtation with a "friend."

The thing is, we don't want to see past cheating as purely physical, especially when we are in relationships. However, hanging out with someone, texting them frequently, laughing, and establishing an emotional bond can be more detrimental to a relationship than just making out with some harlot on the dance floor one night. No, the drunken kiss isn't excusable, but perhaps it is far more forgivable than giving your time and attention to someone else.

Cheating, kids. It's not as simple as it seems.

Hmm...sounds like a tag line for an after school special. :pats self on back:

Love freely,
tY